When someone you care about seems to be managing their life well but still relies heavily on alcohol, it can be hard to know how to help. Functioning alcoholism doesn’t always look like the stereotypes you might expect—it often flies under the radar. People in this situation can maintain jobs, relationships, and even social lives while quietly struggling with a dependency on alcohol.
If you’re wondering how to recognize the signs and offer support to someone in this position, you’re not alone. It’s a delicate issue, one that requires both understanding and the right approach. In this post, we’ll explore the signs of functioning alcoholism and share practical steps you can take to help someone navigate their path to healthier living.
What Is a Functioning Alcoholic?
A functioning alcoholic is someone who struggles with alcohol dependency but still manages to keep up with their daily responsibilities. On the outside, they might seem like they’ve got it together—showing up to work, handling family matters, and even staying socially active. But underneath, their alcohol use is still affecting their health, relationships, and overall well-being.
What makes a functioning alcoholic different from someone whose life is falling apart due to their drinking is that they’ve become adept at hiding their problems. They may have learned to control certain aspects of their life while drinking heavily, but the truth is that their alcohol consumption is still taking a toll, even if it’s not immediately obvious to others.
Even though they may manage to perform in their daily life, their alcohol dependency can lead to long-term physical and emotional harm if left unaddressed. The biggest challenge is that their drinking often stays hidden, making it harder for others—and even for themselves—to recognize the problem.
How to Tell if Someone Is a Functioning Alcoholic
Spotting the signs of a functioning alcoholic can be tricky because they often still perform well in many areas of life. However, there are key behaviors to look for that can help you identify when someone may be struggling with alcohol dependency.
1. Consuming Alcohol Regularly
A functioning alcoholic typically drinks on a daily basis or several times a week, even if it’s only in the evenings. They may have a pattern of drinking alcohol as soon as they get home from work or during social events. What might seem like casual drinking could actually be a sign of dependency.
Example:
You might notice that someone regularly cracks open a beer or pours a glass of wine to unwind after a long day. While this may appear harmless, it could indicate a deeper reliance on alcohol to cope with stress or to feel “normal.”
2. Drinking to Cope with Stress or Emotions
For a functioning alcoholic, drinking isn’t just about socializing—it’s a way to handle stress, anxiety, or emotional pain. They may drink in response to challenges at work, family problems, or just as a way to numb negative emotions.
Example:
If a person often says, “I had a tough day, I need a drink,” it might be more than a casual remark. It can signal that alcohol is their go-to coping mechanism, helping them manage emotions they might not be addressing in a healthier way.
3. Denial About Their Drinking Habits
One of the most common signs of functioning alcoholism is denial. The person may brush off concerns or minimize their drinking, insisting that they have control over it. This can make it harder for others to intervene, as the individual may not see their alcohol use as a problem.
Example:
If you mention that they seem to be drinking more than usual, they might respond with, “I’m fine. I can stop whenever I want.” Even if their behavior is affecting their health or relationships, they may be convinced that it’s under control.
4. Memory Lapses or Blackouts
Although they may appear to handle alcohol well, functioning alcoholics often experience memory lapses or blackouts while drinking. The next day, they might not remember parts of the evening, but they rarely face serious consequences, allowing them to continue their behavior.
Example:
A person might say, “I don’t really remember what happened last night, but I’m sure it wasn’t anything bad.” This could be a red flag that they’re drinking to a point where they’re losing track of what’s going on, but the consequences aren’t immediately noticeable.
5. Increased Tolerance
Over time, someone who is dependent on alcohol will need to drink more to feel the same effects. This increase in tolerance can be a sign that their alcohol use has progressed, even though they may still manage to appear functional in other areas of life.
Example:
If someone is drinking large quantities of alcohol and seems unaffected by it, it’s worth considering whether their tolerance has become so high that they’re masking the full impact of their drinking. They might casually mention drinking a whole bottle of wine by themselves, but show no signs of being overly intoxicated.
6. Withdrawal Symptoms
When a person who is dependent on alcohol hasn’t had a drink for a while, they may start experiencing withdrawal symptoms. These can include irritability, anxiety, shaking, or sweating. Though they might try to hide it, withdrawal is a clear sign that their body has become reliant on alcohol.
Example:
If someone acts unusually tense or irritable when they haven’t had a drink, it could be a sign of withdrawal. They might also feel restless or have trouble sleeping. These signs can indicate that their body is physically dependent on alcohol, even if their daily routine seems normal.
How to Help a Functioning Alcoholic
Helping a functioning alcoholic can be challenging, especially because they often don’t see their drinking as a problem. However, approaching the situation with empathy and understanding can make a significant difference. Here are some ways you can support someone who may be struggling with alcohol dependency:
1. Start with a Conversation
The first step in helping a functioning alcoholic is to open up a conversation. It’s important to approach them in a non-judgmental and caring way. Let them know you’re concerned about their well-being, not just their drinking habits.
Example:
You could say something like, “I’ve noticed that you’ve been drinking more lately, and I’m worried about how it’s affecting you. I care about you and want to support you.” Starting with empathy instead of blame can make it easier for them to hear your concerns.
2. Offer Support, Not Solutions
While it’s tempting to suggest solutions right away, what someone with alcohol dependency needs most is support, not unsolicited advice. Let them know that you’re there for them no matter what, but give them space to decide when they’re ready to make a change.
Example:
Rather than pushing them into treatment or confronting them about their drinking, simply say, “If you ever want to talk about it or need help finding support, I’m here.” Sometimes, knowing that someone has their back can make all the difference in someone taking the first step toward change.
3. Encourage Professional Help
Sometimes, the best way to help a functioning alcoholic is to encourage them to seek professional help. Treatment programs, especially those designed for alcohol dependency, can provide the tools and support they need to manage their addiction.
Example:
You can offer to help them find resources like outpatient therapy, support groups, or rehab programs. Programs that offer counseling, group therapy, or medical assistance are especially helpful for people who are functioning but still struggling with addiction.
4. Set Boundaries
It’s important for your own well-being to set clear boundaries with a loved one who is struggling with an addiction. You can’t control someone else’s drinking, but you can protect your own emotional health. Let the person know what you are and aren’t willing to tolerate, and stick to those boundaries consistently.
Example:
If their drinking is affecting your relationship or your peace of mind, you can say, “I’m happy to support you, but I can’t be around when you’re drinking heavily.” Setting limits isn’t about punishing them—it’s about protecting your own health while still showing care.
5. Avoid Enabling Their Behavior
While it’s tempting to cover for someone or make excuses for their drinking, this can enable the problem to continue. Instead, try to avoid behaviors that allow them to avoid facing the consequences of their actions.
Example:
If they show up late to work or miss an event because of drinking, avoid making excuses for them. Instead, express concern and encourage them to address the issue directly. It’s important that they face the reality of their behavior in order to make changes.
6. Provide Information and Resources
Sometimes, a functioning alcoholic might not even realize how serious their drinking has become. Providing information about alcohol dependency and its effects can help them better understand what’s going on. Offering resources such as hotlines, self-help books, or articles can give them the knowledge they need to start considering change.
Example:
“I came across this article about how alcohol can affect your health. It might be helpful if you want to check it out sometime.” Gently providing this information can help them see their situation more clearly without feeling like they’re being pushed.
Take the First Step Toward Lasting Recovery
If you or a loved one is struggling with alcohol dependency, Northpoint Recovery’s alcohol abuse treatment programs can help pave the way to lasting recovery. Our comprehensive approach offers the support and resources needed to regain control of your life.
Our care team will help you learn how to manage stress without turning to alcohol and rebuild relationships that were strained by drinking. Many of our clients have gone on to regain their confidence, improve their emotional health, and find a new sense of balance.
Contact us today to learn more.